What not to do on a first date – don’t do these!

The first date: it’s a nerve-wracking but exciting experience. You want to make a lasting impression and connect with your potential partner. After all, you just got a catch, and you don’t want to mess it up, so it’s normal to feel apprehensive about it, particularly if it could lead to something more serious.

Knowing not what to do on a first date may seem obvious and even natural. However, there are some pitfalls to avoid on this dazzling yet crucial occasion. Your nerves can get the better of you and make you say or do things you wouldn’t normally do. To ensure your first date is a success, let’s explore the top 12 things you should never do on a first date.

1. Don’t choose the wrong venue

While going to the movies is fun, it may not be the best choice for a first date. Choose a venue or activity that provokes conversation and action. The point of a first date is to get to know each other. Going to a comedy show or the arcade would be a better choice to become more acquainted.

2. Don’t wear the wrong clothes

We can’t always judge someone on our clothes, but it’s important to dress how you want to be seen when it involves the first date. After all, first dates are our first impressions! I once went on a date, and the guy wore his workout top and jeans. Of course, I didn’t mind, but at the back of my head, I couldn’t help but think he didn’t care enough to make an effort. Opting for a nice dress over your worn-out jeans will not only give the impression that you care, but you will likely feel more confident.

At the same time, wearing a tight mini-skirt with a cake face full of makeup on the first date could send off the wrong impression. Plus, if you accidentally take a tumble while wearing those 10-inch heels, he might see more than he was bargained for.

3. Don’t be late

First impressions matter, and punctuality is key. Being late sends the wrong message and can set a negative tone for the entire date. Arrive on time to show respect for your date’s time and establish a positive atmosphere from the start.

4. Don’t overwhelm with personal stories

While it’s true first dates can seem like an audition or an interview, perhaps leave out the deeply personal and lengthy monologues. It’s important to share about yourself and be honest, but allow your date to contribute and listen actively to what they have to say. Show genuine interest in your date’s life, thoughts, and experiences that create a balanced dialogue and get to know each other.

5. Avoid the stalker talk

Let’s be real here, if you know your date’s last name; chances are you’ve been exploring this person’s name on every social media app you can find. (I don’t point the finger at you; chances are he’s done likewise to you.) But on the off chance that you begin conversations on their place of graduation, most liked Facebook pages, or how their hair looked in 2004, then it might be a little creepy.

6. Don’t drink and date

This ranks pretty high on the list of things not to do on a first date! And I’ve learned my lesson on this one. One glass of wine is fine. But two or more could lead to unforeseen situations, and a real relationship might not be taken seriously after a boozy night. #keepitclassy

7. Pay attention to your date – not your phone

Constantly checking your phone is a huge faux pas on a first date. It sends the message that your attention is divided and that your date is not a priority.

Put your phone away and focus on building a connection with the person in front of you. Using your phone constantly while in the company of others is just plain rude and disrespectful. It’s even worse when you’re on a first date, and the person is constantly scrolling social media and talking to friends on the phone. Leave the constant snaps of your food and selfies and engage in the human who’s chosen to spend their valuable time with you.

8. Avoid talking about exes

Bringing up past relationships on a first date is a major no-no. Focusing on exes can create awkwardness and make your date feel uncomfortable. You’ll appear unpleasant, stuck in the past, not ready to move forward, and quite frankly caught up in someone else. The main focus should be on your first date.

9. Avoid the “crazy” talk

OK, so if you’re into some crazy ass sh*t like how the Queen was a reptilian, the world is flat, or you have a weird sexual fetish – perhaps keep that conversation as a wild card down the line. Save some mystery and save yourself another date while you’re at it. Don’t let the crazy out of the bag just yet, mmkay.

10. Avoid controversial subjects

Sensitive topics such as politics, religion, controversial world events or whether one is vaccinated or not should be approached with caution, especially on a first date. These subjects can quickly lead to disagreements and create unnecessary tension. On the other hand, if you express something you really believe in and your date never returns from the bathroom – it’s probably a blessing in disguise.

11. Talking about work

Talking about work constantly on your first date? No way! It will just be boring. The date will be over as soon as it starts. (Unless you are an Astronaut or a stunt double for Brad Pitt)

Even though we spend most of our waking day at work, our jobs usually don’t define who we truly are. Therefore, talk about what interests them or hobbies they enjoy outside of work. That way, you get to know what they are really about. If you do want to talk about work, keep it simple. And perhaps, don’t talk about how much or how little you earn. You’re not getting married! (yet;)

12. Dodge first dates if you’re feeling negative

Nobody likes a negative Nancy! Negativity is a love vibe killer on a first date. Avoid complaining about your job, previous dates, or anything else that might bring down the mood. Instead, focus on positive and light-hearted topics that create a pleasant atmosphere. If you’re feeling tired, grumpy, stressed or hungover, then reschedule. I once went on a date when I was so tired that when I got there, I couldn’t even articulate myself (so embarrassing!), let alone care less what he was talking about. On a side note: if you don’t care about where the date is going, don’t be afraid to end it early.

13. Don’t be rude to the staff

Treating waitstaff or service personnel rudely is a major turn-off and displays a lack of respect. Be polite and courteous to everyone you encounter during the date, as it reflects your character and how you treat others. Personally, if my date were rude to the staff, that would be a big red flag for me. I value manners in a person, and if someone thinks they’re better than someone else and shows it by being rude and arrogant, then bub-bye!

14. Avoid being overly touchy or flirtatious

Physical boundaries are important on a first date. Being too touchy or overly flirtatious can make your date uncomfortable. Respect their personal space and let the relationship develop naturally.

15. Offer to split the bill

Let’s be honest. As a woman, it’s always nice when the man offers to pay for the first date. It shows that he is willing to invest in us. It shows that he has chivalry and takes charge, which is attractive.

On a couple of accounts, I paid for the first date, and while I was fine with it, it didn’t make me feel special or invested in. It gave off “friend” vibes and wasn’t romantic in the slightest! So, if a man offers to pay, know your value and accept his kind gesture gracefully – his masculine side will thank you for it!

However, on the flip side, if a woman displays an attitude of expectations and not a willingness even to contribute, then it could be a turn-off for the man.

And there we conclude my ” what not to do on a first date” tips! All you have to do now is put on a smile, try not to fart and enjoy the ride!